Welcome to Uncle Crotchs story time. 


These posts will either be true or complete crap and to those of you who know me you’ll not be able to tell which cause you know I’m fucked up.


We’ll begin todays story with a warning: If you’re ever asked to go out with”friends” to a bar you should avoid it.  This was about three years ago I was still working for one of the major oil companys but that was starting to whined down.  It was late one night towards the end of my shift and my relief came in a little early.  So me and the guy I worked the afternoon shift got to leave early and this guy casually asked me if I wanted to go get a beer.  I hadn’t worked with this guy that long so I said sure why not it’ll give me a chance to get to know the guy.  His name was Toby but I always called him old man river behind his back cause that dude looked old as hell.  It turns out that he was 24 at the time so I don’t know why he looked old but he did.  That’s not the point though.  So We went out to one of the vast amount of bars in my home town.  Little did I know and I don’t know why it wasn’t obvious but it was a country bar.  There were no clear indications that it was but as I was soon to find out it was and they didn’t want me there.  It turns out it was some funky hick karaoke night.  Let me tell you some of those hicks do not like it when you sing Misfits songs at the top of your lung while they are sing achy break ass songs.  So needless to say that ended poorly and with many bloodied and broken.  Thankfully I was not included in that sad bunch that had to visit the hospital  however my co-worked was so I went along.  So we’re sitting there in the emergency room waiting to be seen with these guys that were there because of me or the insuing chaos that sprang up around me.  It probably isn’t the first time a fight has broken out in the hospital but it was the first one I saw so it was heinous.  Again luckily I was not involved in that altercation but it was a sight to see.  There were people trying to choke other people with their bandages and hitting people with casts.  The hospital security proved to be of litle effect and had to call the police.  After people were cuffed and taken away (some having yet to recieve medical attention) It was off home with me and I was glad to see the day done.  The one good turn of events that night was I was fortunate enough to be given the number of the nurse that helped my friend.  Her name was Tiko and while she was beautiful and sexy and a really great person that bitch was crazy and perhaps the topic of a future trip into Uncle Crotchs’ Story Corner.


Crotch

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