Look people I don’t know what kind of things you’ve come to expect from me but this is probably one of them.  I was shopping for a friends Christmas gift after work tonight when something I only thought happened in movies happened to me.  I have really only known this person for about two months so I really don’t know that much about her or what to give her.  She had mentioned a specific book so that’s what she was going to get.  I looked all over town today and couldn’t find it anywhere, as a last ditch effort I thought I’d try a place I had already called and was told they didn’t have it in stock.  I don’t know why I thought they’d have it but I went to look anyway.  I got there and was about to ask for it but I heard another guy already asking for it.  The lady behind the counter told him that they had one left and told the guy where to find it.  It was on the second floor of the store and having heard they had one I turned and ran towards the stairs.  The man must have seen me go because next thing I know he’s on me ass trying to pass me.  I managed to reach the top of the stairs first and ran towards the rack.  I literally had to jump for the book because frankly I’m not that fast anymore due to a laboured history of knee and back injuries and the guy was gaining on me and had nearly reached the book before me.  Book in hand I rold triumphantly away from the rack and rose up from the ground with only thoughts of paying and being on my way.  As you may have either read or known my plan never work out normally.  As I rose I was immediatly faced with the angry face of a man who appeared to have finally reached the end of his rope.  A rather unsavory verbal exchange commensed between us.  I ,as politly as possible told, this fine gentleman to go fuck himself and that I had reached the book first and therefore it was mine.  He unsuccessfully tried to wrestle the book from my grasp.  I ,again as politely as possible, asked the guy to leave me the hell alone so that I could pay for the book and go.  All ended well and without police involvement.


Why do these things always happen to me?


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