My girlfriend is going to train a cat to walk with a cane wearing a top hat and a monocle. Then she is going to train a troupe of mice to play instruments while the cat marches around being a funky feline freakshow. The band will have a stand up bass and a drummer along with the regular accompaniment. She said she would charge an exhorbant amount to see this unbelievable act and she made it very clear that I was not going to get any kind of special allowances.


Scott Free is going to have to remain uncultured

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