I have been reading about this contest that challenges people to come
up with the worst opening line for a story, in homage to the
classically over-used first line: “It was a dark and stormy night,”. I
have decided to take a stab at it with this entry:
   
    Inspector
Bodey eyed the scene with an interest one step ahead of the other footmen that
were hand picked to try and distinguish the hairy situation that the leggy
blonde had put them all in when she elbowed her way into the joint with her
fancy lip service and her nose for trouble, which, no bones about it, would
probably mean he would get his ass handed to him, for he was hanging on by the
skin of his teeth, if he couldn’t finger the cheeky culprit who obviously
didn’t mind getting him knee deep in trouble.

Scott Free the budding novelist

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