I bring you the first in what I hope to be a Short string of

Dispatches From Scott Free’s

Soon I will be alone for a while as at various times in the
coming weeks all of my friends will be off in far away lands on great
and tedious adventures.  They only overlap by one week so for the
most part I will only have to find things to do with myself for a
relativly short amount of time.  This Monday morning my dear
friend Emma leaves for two weeks to the grand destination of Ohio for a
two week trip ome with her boyfriend Ben.  A thrilling trip it
will no doubt be as there are a great many things to do in the exotic
retreat known chiefly, to me at least, as the state that has the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame.  It is also the home state of one of my
favorite bands: Devo.  A week later my esteemed partner Scott Free
and his lady Friend WanTea will be jetting off to Hawaii for two weeks
in the sun trying to avoid melanoma and shark attacks.  The sharks
have recently taken to renting diving apparatus that will allow them to
chase people down on the land now, instead of having to wait for
unsuspecting swimmers to wade into the “killing zone” otherwise known
as the ocean.  Hopefully a week after they are gone Emma will be
back and my misery and loneliness can be put to rest and my joyus
existance can be resumed.  O.k. I don’t really know if a week by
myself really will be misery but it will definitly be good to have
someone around for me to do stuff with.  About another week later
Mr. Free and Ms. WanTea will have returned and plans can be put into
action for much fun and frivolity. 

A side note: the things I wish I could control aren’t really often
things I want that much because the things I want the most I would
never hope to control.  The things I want the most are things that
if I could control really wouldn’t be worth wanting so it’s true that
if I could control it it wouldn’t mean as much.  I don’t want to
control those things because I like those things exactly as they are
and wouldn’t want to change a thing, well maybe just a little. 
Most often the things I feel the need to control are things that I am
truly helpless to, namely things regarding the health of my family and
loved ones, the way people close to me choose to ignore the mistakes
they are making with their lives(my sister and her junkie boyfriend),
and other things of that nature.

Crotch

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