Well people I am coming to you once again from Scotts’ house but my modem is once again under my control.  The rebellion was crushed and casualties were kept to a minimum.  Now on to the purpose of this post

The struggle has begun.  This last Sunday I had a really good day out with my dear friend Emma.  We did laundry in preparation of her trip into the wilds of Ohio.  That done we went to lunch and were then off to spend the rest of the last day together we would spend for two weeks.  We set out to go to the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park.  On the way there though Emma said she wanted to see this place her aunt had gone to this same weekend.  She didn’t know exactly where it was so we drove to near where she thought it might be and ended up driving to Stinson beach and back up the coast into the city again.  The beach was beautiful and the scenery made being there really hard on me emotionally but I still enjoyed it tremendously.  Back into the city we went to the Japanese Tea Garden as planned and walked around there for a while talking about things.  That finally done we headed off home to have dinner with her roommate Ashley and her boyfriend Noah.  After dinner we returned home to pack for the trip.  The packing done all that was left to do was to drive to the Bart station and drop her off so she could go stay with her boyfriend.  Walking her up to the gate felt like a defeat and while hugging her I tried hard to hold back the tears.  Letting her go then and sending her on her way was one of the hardest thing I have ever done. Walking back to the car knowing I wouldn’t see that same person in two weeks fucking killed me.  She’ll be back and we’ll still be good but that walk back to the car hurt more with every step and getting in took all the strength I was using to hold back the tears.  I found in her a dream that filled my heart and changed my life.  I don’t know if that dream ever ended or if it will ever go away completely but I know right now she’s gone.  Will she come back with all her questions answered and ready to give our dream a chance?  Or will she come back and be done with it completely.  I don’t know but I now have eleven days and counting until my friend comes back.  I can breath again knowing she has done what she felt she must and still come home.  I just hope it’s home she comes back to.

Sometimes it’s the hardest thing being…


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