It has been with a great deal of trepidation that I have expressed my
feelings in the recent past, namely today and other days this past
week.  I have been guilty of expressing myself too openly in the
past and both that and other acts caused me to lose something
great.  I have once again regained what was lost and can’t help
but feel that it is partly because of my willingness to be open and
myself.  I am more assured now that one should never hold back
their feelings because to do that would be to lie to ones self. 
That is something you should never do.  If you cannot be honest
with yourself than giving others the illusion of honesty is
unfair.  I am aware now that this kind of honesty has its
consequences and that those must be taken into account when deciding on
a course of action.  What all this means I don’t know.  I
can’t pretend I’m something else and I can’t pretend I don’t feel the
things that I do.  I have done and will continue to express what’s
in my heart and should there be consequences let them be slight and
short lived.

James

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