I have a “stream of conscienceness” journal that I write in at school
for my english class. This is a little excerpt from it. If something
doesn’t completely make sense remember, I don’t edit it at all. His
name is

    Charles Simian. I am the captain of a huge ship that
sails the seas and appropriates things from ships on the high seas. You
might call it piracy and you would be correct. I recently took 800 tons
of food from another ship. It wasn’t easy to lift. I don’t know what to
do with all the food, but seeing as that I am evil, I will probably eat
my fill and throw the rest in the ocean. I am the master over my
domain. My domain consists of the seas and my ship. My ship consists of
me, my dog, my parrot, my marmot, my monkey and my crew. My crew
consists of the roughest group of pirate cliches that you have ever set
eyes upon. My quaters include a private bath and my own private Idaho.
I love being a pirate and wouldn’t trade it for the world. My dog’s
name is Charles, my parrot’s name is Anne, my monkey’s name is Randy
and my marmot is nameless. Naming animals show affection and affection
is an emotion of the weaker or fairer sex. I am no “fairy” so
therefore, my marmot is nameless. My left testicle has a doctorate.
Therefore you shall address him as such when speaking to him. His name
is Roger Westwallen, Dr. Roger Westwallen and he is very pleased to
meet you.
    My story thus far. We, having just commandeered the
food boat, releaving it of it’s burden and doing with it what we will,
will now be setting sail for the Isle of Mann. Not because we are gay
but because I hear that the vacationing is rather nice on the Isle of
Mann. No deviants.

-Written by Scotty Freeling in English class, Thursday June 30th, at 10:33 a.m.

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