I’ve been contemplating the definition of the word Need this morning.  In the dictionary it’s defined as A : a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful B : a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism.


The question was recent posed to me whether it was wrong to need someone. Do we really need another person because we lack something required to be happy?  I don’t think so because a person should be happy in and of themselves regardless of their lack of another person.  We should want people for their own qualities not because they supply anything requisite, desirable, or useful.  A person should never be important or desired because they may be useful.  Tools are useful, words are useful people can be useful but they should never be important or needed because of that.  In that definition it would be wrong to need someone, highly.  Now should you have a physiological or psychological need for another person?  No, not as a means of well being.  Physically you never need another person.  Our bodies and their mechanical natures have abosolutley no need for anything we cannot supply for ourselves.  Psychological need for another person feeds a whole host of mental problems and issues.  Though mentally it has been proven that without interaction we would all become emotionally and mentally crippled.  Reverting into our own heads without outside stimulus feeds madness so in that sense it is right to need people but not another person.  None of that answers the question in the sense that it was asked though.  I do feel though that by presenting this in this way I may have made an arguement for the opposition to my personal belief.  Is it right to need someone?  Well I have shown that it is indeed not right to need someone to fill a lack of something required.  I have also shown that in one sense we do need people on the whole but not whether we need any one person above all.  I feel that in one way we do: emotionally.  It doesn’t happen often, at least if you are of a healthy emotional state, to find someone that you have an unquestioning need for.  We all find someone eventually that we know beyond all reason and logic that we cannot do without.  We may try not to let it happen because frankly speaking as humans we all know that we should be self sufficient but it still happens.  Someone comes into your life and fills the gaps and holes that you never knew were there.  They fit along all your smooth, well manicured, edges.  They come and they fit perfectly along all your jagged edges where others have been cut and wounded.  Do we need that?  That person to show us that we can feel right and honest and true?  Yes.  If you can find that person that your heart tells you that you need, that you can’t be without; that person that fills all the holes, that understands where other people don’t; that person who will stay when other people might run then you should grab hold and never let go.  That person is special and represents something unique in your life, complete and total acceptance and giving.  We all need a person like that and it’s ok to feel that need.  Do I need that? Yes.  Do I feel bad about that?  Not even a little bit, I am happy with that need because then I know that I feel.  In conclusion: Do we need people? Yes, without them we would mentally break down.  Do we need any one specific person?  I don’t know.  I do know you’re lucky if you find someone to need because that doesn’t happen often and it’s a special thing when it does.


James

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