It’s been a while since I was here so in a way I don’t know what the point of coming back is.  I know no one checks this anymore, neither Scott Free nor myself have updated in a long enough time that the people who did have stopped hoping for anything new to read.  Given that I know this I am confident that this is falling on blind eyes so therefor it might as well be written just for me(which almost everything here has been).  I am about to embark upon one of the saddest trips to one of the “happiest” places much sadder than I had ever really thought possible.  On the eve of taking someone that has been a dear friend away to school I have been left essentially for the memory, if not for the actual person, of someone else.  I am going away on a trip that I have been dreading for numerous reason not the least of which was that I would be away from the person I so desperately love, alone.  Yes I am going with some of the closest people to me in my life but my heart is broken and breathing takes more work than it should.  I am going away alone knowing that when I come back that I am not coming back to someone’s waiting arms, I am coming home to a cold room, an empty bed, and a shattered heart.  The sick fucking thing is this has happened three other times, yes technically only two but the heart is not a technical thing.  Three other times I have been packed away to the corner of her heart because there just isn’t enough goddamn room for two and I being second in line am the one shuffled off.  Do I in the least way think this is what she wants? No, absolutely not.  I could feel her heart break the same time mine did and I could see in her eyes what this meant.  I am running out of time for this, the clock is ticking and my friends are waiting. 


Crotch


Note: The above has been edited.  Sorry Scott.  I have amended what was previously here to remove the import I foolishly, and in a fit of sleepless depression, placed upon another.  To say bane was harsh, excessive, and frankly far from the mark.  That person is who they are and, in the grand scheme of my life, have had next to no impact.  I’m sorry, for all those involved, that I lead any of you to think otherwise.

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