First off I’d like to say that it’s likely only Scott Free will find this is funny.
I’d like to introduce you all to someone that may contribute on the rare occasion that I can set him to the task. Though I feel the need to introduce him I know it is not necessary because he is legend. Prophecies have told of his arrival and aboriginal cultures for generations have made fruitful sacrifices to him. You have all felt his touch even if you weren’t aware of it at the time. Though he can be illusive, like Sasquatch, he can only really be fully photographed with satellite imaging. He is vast and grand and is known and loved by those that know and love him. He has many names, well really only the one, but is most traditionally known by the moniker of The Beast. Recognize the glory and feel his effects on the tides for if you do not he will shift and cause the earth to slip from its fragile balance on its axis and we will all tumble in a lazy and violent wobble into the fury of the sun. You have been warned, introduced, and informed of his coming. Be prepared for his might is great.