So, I was walking home from work last night and found something that gave me pause for thought. I was walking next to a car and in all the windows there were paper signs left by the owner. I thought perhaps they were for sale signs, and as the car was in an advance state of disrepair I was curious as to how much they were hoping to get for this fine specimen of an automobiles declining years. Looking into the window and reading the signs I found them to be something entirely different. In all the windows of the car were signs that read: “Please stop breaking into this car. Thank you.” Now for a brief moment I was struck by the politeness of the signs. Also by the sheer pointlessness of said politeness. If someone is the type of person to break into your car, apparently repeatedly, than they are unlikely to respond to polite requests. I was also struck by an overwhelming urge to break into the car myself and leave a sign reading: “Ooh, sorry, I didn’t see your sign at first. Sorry about the galss all over your seat and down into the vents on your dash. I was going to take the radio and that sweet backpack in the back seat but I just didn’t feel right about it after seeing the sign. Good luck getting the window fixed.”

I didn’t do that, but the thought ran through my mind.

Crotchious Maximus,
Benevolent ruler of all the land.

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